Wedding planning abroad: logistics

Once the wedding location was chosen, the real work started. The first struggle was with the invitations. We decided to have two ceremonies, one in the castle and one in my hometown church. People had to be given Save the Dates and invites to both or one of the locations and in a language they understood. So that led us to making 3 different Save the Date designs, 2 different invitations and 3 styles of RSVP cards. For anyone who has planned a wedding before, you’d know how difficult it is to even pick one design! Thanks to our design and print companies in the US and in Austria, they turned out great.

One thing I am struggling with is my need to involve Reinhard in everything. I know it’s getting old for him too. My German knowledge doesn’t contain the necessary negotiation vocabulary involved in wedding planning. So the poor guy even has to call around at the hairdresser to see who can fit in a “large” group of women (there are only 4 of us, but that’s apparently too many for Tirolean shops to handle). I still don’t have one as of today, so if you have any suggestions for a Kufstein Friseur, let me know!

And don’t even get me started about the wedding dress. I really shouldn’t complain, but of course I will. My parents bought my dress for me in the US when I went to visit in February. It was perfect and beautiful and just had to have it. The shop had to order it, which meant it had to be shipped to Austria from the US. Let me tell you that DHL charges an absolutely crazy amount to ship a dress and charges whatever INSANELY high customs fees they feel like. The dress didn’t even leave the US and they were already demanding customs fees – so clearly they were making them up. A tip for you international brides – don’t use DHL unless you like throwing away money. But I got the dress and then I had to be brave enough to go alone to the seamstress for some alterations. Of course bridal dress alterations is not a vocab lesson in German class, so I was struggling there. Fun fact, a train is called a Schleppe in German, as in ‘to schlep around fabric’. I forgot about the need to have the dress bustled for the reception, though I’m sure the seamstress asked me. I was just afraid she wanted to shorten my Schleppe so I kept saying no! So I had to go back a week and a half later (with a German-speaking girlfriend this time!) to describe what I needed. Let’s hope it turns out alright!

There are some pretty funny Austrian wedding customs that I’m not so sure how we will follow. Reini went suit shopping with his Best Man and sister. He said he thought it was so funny how all the grooms’ suits were so shiny! But he wasn’t tempted by the shine – he got a regular one. Furthermore, from what my groom said, it sounds like suit rentals aren’t really a thing here. So once you buy your shiny suit – you’re stuck with it! (kinda like with a wedding dress though….) Another funny tradition in the stealing of the bride. This one I know Reini does want, so we might take it but with some rules… The friends of the groom steal the bride away during the couple’s first dance. And the girlfriends of the bride are supposed to steal the groom away too. Then they go away from the wedding site and get drinks at a bar somewhere for like an hour. I’d much rather stay at the very expensive event I had planned for a year than go to a bar, so we’ll see what happens with this one…

Food plays a big role in any wedding, but it definitely does here too. I saw in one of Reini’s friends’ weddings that the bridal couple breaks a huge pretzel during the ceremony. The person who gets the larger piece (usually turns out to be the bride) is said to have the dominant position in the marriage. Goulash seems to be a topic of conversation. Austrian weddings last super late into the night/morning so a midnight snack is expected. All the castles have talked about their goulash… but I’m just not impressed. It’s hard to eat and messy. So we have an alternative planned that I was told our Bavarian guests will find really funny.

Language and customs differences are definitely providing extra challenges to the wedding planning experience, but at least I have an excellent partner who is willing to learn about wedding hair trials and corsage styles just to make me have the most special day.

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